I want to write something today and I have a few things to write about. First off, I started the day by working a bit on my assignment, but didn’t get very far. I’m very close to finishing that assignment. This has to be one of my least favorite so far. It’s about defining ourselves as a designer. I’m not a designer.

Publish date website update

Also, I finally made the pages have pubDates! (publish dates in Astro). This allowed me to add it to the RSS feed, and also sort the pages by recency. I don’t know what else to say so I’ll move on.

I’m in this weird situation, relationship-wise. Click off now if you don’t care. I just had a breakup like a week ago, I think I mentioned it here in my previous one but not sure. Anyway, now there’s someone who was interested in me and who I was interested in. Then I fucked up and now I’m not sure if they hate me or not. They keep saying ‘I don’t know’ whenever I ask questions and idk what I’m getting at. It’s just something I think about constantly, all day everyday. I feel really bad. I think this ties into me being a chronic liar, because I keep guilt tripping them unintentionally. I genuinely don’t mean to do these things, and I can’t recognize them as what they are. There’s nothing more

If you don’t know about my chronic lying, well you hopefully shouldn’t since I don’t mention it to many people, I basically do little lies all the time. Just constantly, I can’t even realize when I’m doing it. It’s at least a few times per conversation. Usually it’s just to keep the conversation flowing well instead of having to dive into something personal on either side or something like that. There’s many-a-reason I do it, but generally it’s just an instinctual thing for me.

I don’t know why I’m admitting this here. I hope you don’t judge me based on it, it’s just how my brain is wired and no one’s ever called me out on it. But, now I’m thinking I might be a chronic guilt-tripper, too. I’ve just never run into someone who can call me out on it before. I feel genuinely horrible about it, because it fucked everything up and I really love them and idk. I can’t recognize any other time I do it, but that’s kinda the point. I’m probably overthinking everything.