First log

First log! I’m feeling pretty shit about this one because I did things today I don’t want to share, I’ll try and provide as much detail as I’m comfortable with for myself. I expect you to not read this. If anything, I want no one to read it. If you read it, leave a comment!

If anyone’s going to read one, it’ll probably be the first one, why don’t you be spontaneous and read another one? :3

Today has been a good day, I’ve had some major mood swings as I worry about things. For example I met someone cool (:3) and showed them my face, they shut up immediately afterwards and I was panicking and fretting for a solid 10 minutes before they came back. Up until this point they had replied to everything pretty quickly but this ONE TIME they took a while to respond, it’s a shitty coincidence and I felt really bad for a short while there. But, it all worked out in the end, plus they’re cool :3.

I got a package today, too. It was from LTTStore (yes I bought their shit) and it contained a really nice mouse-pad and insulated and huge water bottle. It’s awesome, it feels super high quality and I’m super glad I bought them. It wasn’t too expensive either, even the shipping was reasonable I think. Have you seen the prices of large mouse-pads??? It’s wild how much they cost, theirs was about the same as other ones of decent quality.

I also metup with the councilor/therapy/partner guy today… He was the one that finally pushed me to make this site! Well, he didn’t directly. But the things we talked about (which I have, of course, forgotten) made me think about my need to share things with people and I finally decided to get off my ass, learn Svelte, and build a blogging website.

I did stuff with someone else but I don’t think I’ll mention it here yet, stay tuned and maybe I’ll disclose some things. It was get-to-know day… I think it went well but I think I fucked up and I’m worried about it, I might have not said I wasn’t enjoying myself and I want to be more direct about that kind of thing, but it’s hard for me to know when I’m not enjoying things or say anything about it. I don’t know what I could’ve done better, I’ve asked them to punish me when I am indirect about things… hopefully they come through and do so, so I can get better at it.

I’m very hungry. The eating less has been really good and I don’t think about food a lot so I’m sure I’m not developing anorexia. I’ve tried eating less before and all I could think about was food, that’s how you develop an eating disorder. This time I’m being careful I get just below the kilojoules I need. If I eat less I’ll develop an eating disorder… idk what I should eat though. It’s 7pm as I’m writing this, I’ve had a smoothie, water, and a mocha today. It’s not enough so I need to make more… just not sure what.

This has been a good blog post. It’s about as long as I expect them to be, not sure how frequently I’ll keep this up… I hope I keep it up everyday but that’s unrealistic… Maybe once a week?